Voooossshhhh!!!

Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.Matthew 16:24

As a child I wished for telekinetic powers, just like Jean Grey in X-men. Yes, I wanted to fly, move things with my mind and have the power of telepathy ( that means communicating through thoughts). Who wouldn’t want those awesome powers.

Of late however, I find myself wishing for just one superpower. The ability to just disappear at will. Just like magic. I find myself thinking “If I could just get away, everything would be better.” I wouldn’t have to feel like an outsider at home ( not my actual family home), I wouldn’t have to be the weirdo among my friends, I wouldn’t have to be wondering all the time if people liked me for me. I’d be somewhere where I could hide from the world for awhile, just me and God, doing the things I love.

I’ve thought about it so often. Some days it’s the only escape from my reality. Then I realized(and yes I realize alot of things,I have lots of free time to think), that running or disappear, while they might seem like the best solution, are not the answers to my problem.

I oft think of Jesus, and how strange he might felt among his own people. How often he felt like a stranger at home. He was mocked and jeered and taunted. There might have been days he wanted to disappear too. Yet, for me and you he stuck it out, to save a people who didn’t deserve it. To be a friend to persons who would betray him. To help persons who just wanted the benefits of knowing him. He actually had the power to disappear, but he didn’t.

I question at times what possible lesson could God be teaching me this time. I ask myself if it is really worth it all. Being a Christian, worse a Christian like me( having the beliefs I do), then throw in my unusual personality, makes being accepted in many circles very difficult. But, seeing as Christ’s life was an example to us all, I have a job to do. I have to shake off the negative, accept the complexity of my chosen path and live a life that bares witness of my dear Saviour.

The Christian journey is not an easy one and sometimes even fellow Christians make it harder. But, God promises to be with us each step of the way. So though road gets rough, and you seem to stand alone, Christ is there with you. Don’t try to disappear just yet. The faithful make it to the end.

P.S. No magic tricks today

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The Frosted Glass

Have you ever tried looking through a frosted glass? You don’t see much but if you’re like me, you refuse to admit it and choose instead to make sense out of the blurred shapes you see. Then the image clears and you realize all that you missed.

Happy New Year everyone! I know it’s mid-January, but I put off writing over the past few weeks for fear my emotions might have exploded all over my blog. Truth is, the last few weeks have been tough. My eyes were opened to things I never wish to see. My glass was defrosted, and to honest a part of me wishes it would fog back up and I could return to my state of ignorance. The old cliche is most correct indeed. Ignorance is bliss.

I’ve been so focused on what was revealed beyond the glass that I lost sight of everything else.  These revelations and new knowledge consumed my every waking moment and even some of my dreams. I felt so betrayed by lack of the beauty I was expecting, that cynicism, pessimism and hatred began to form plague deposits on my heart. Knowing right and doing right became the hardest task. I got caught up in my bitterness, blaming the world for the pain I felt and hiding myself away to lick my wounds.

Over the last few days I’ve had a chance to reflect on my actions and reactions. I didn’t like the girl I saw. I didn’t like the hopelessness I felt. I realized that Satan must be having quite a field day at my reaction to what was beyond the glass. he had me caught. Instead of using my new insight as a good lesson I allowed depression and self-pity to take control. While I was focusing on what was behind one glass, he was frosting another, blocking the rays of hope from my life.

It is rather funny how instead of leaning on the hope God gives us in word,we often focus so much on our problems that we let Satan win. I’ve done it so many times that it’s probably reflex, but as mush as I am hurting still, I beginning to see the light rays that have begun to defrost my glass of depression and self-pity.

I take with me the promises offered in the words of God. ” For I know the thoughts that I think towards you…” Jer. 11: 29. “Hold on my child, Joy comes in the morning.” “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart”…Prov.3:6. And a song that has become a favourite of mine.

Maybe you have days like mine, or weeks , even months, maybe it’s been a few years. But though it’s hard I have faith that we can see passed the frosted glass. Whatever glass is in your life will be defrosted. Instead of being disappointed by what you see, look for the rays of sunshine that will clear your dark clouds away

P.S. Just one more valley, one more hill.

Alana Ali